stories of experience, strength and hope from Punjabi communities
Empathy is grounded in understanding. We have to look at our knowledge of alcohol dependence or rather our misunderstanding of it. We judge those afflicted with alcohol dependence as weak-willed, having a lack of control or stupid, but this isn’t true. When we judge someone, we put an emotional barrier between them and us. We have this stereotype of someone struggling with alcohol as some homeless park bench drunk, but predominantly in our communities, those suffering are far from homeless. Their park bench is a sofa in a comfortable home, rather than begging for money they are more focused on hiding the alcohol they have or who they can drink with tonight. What does a typical person who struggles with alcohol look like? Is there even a ‘typical’?
The following journeys of recovery illustrate the broad backgrounds of people with lived experience of alcohol dependence and their families. Their stores document their journey through alcohol dependence and their restoration to peace and healing. We thank each author for being honest, authentic and courageous in detailing their journeys. Each story is a gift, offering the possibility of healing and hope.
Punjabi audio shares…
English written shares…
Hardeep
My family noticed my drinking when they started to find empty vodka bottles around the house. My mother wouldn’t sleep most nights. If I was out drinking, she would be up all night looking out of the window waiting for me to come back home…
Surinder
My husband realised my consumption of alcohol was getting out of control, however at the time I was in denial. Worried about me, my husband confided in my family. However, I was not ready to accept that I was becoming an alcoholic…
Mandy
I remember the last drink. The last night I drank I had started at 6pm. It got to 8am the next morning and I can only remember a bit of the night but not everything. I woke up puking, and I couldn’t move an inch without feeling sick. I was so weak.
Dabinder
Alcohol provided me with a magical ability to fit in where initially I experienced awkwardness; alcohol for me had a specific purpose. In contrast, others drank for the social aspect I soon realised that I drank purely for the effect.
Raja
There were hospital visits, life support machines, police cells, broken marriage, lost job opportunities; the list was endless. But denial blindfolded me to the impact alcohol was having on me.
Bally
From the first moment I picked up a drink at 16, I loved everything about it the taste, the effect and how it made me feel. The drink made me fearless and confident, things I’d never felt being a shy Sikh girl.
Richie
I was constantly craving, chasing, lying, hiding, sneaking, scoring, drinking, smoking, regretting, promising, apologising, crying, pleading and ultimately exhausted.
Pragnya
Through my rock bottom, I found a willingness to admit that something was wrong with the way I used alcohol to manage my feelings
Jas
The physical dependency I had with alcohol bought me to my rock bottom when I got caught drink driving for the third time. The alcohol had mentally and physically bought me to my knees.
Vicram
I felt at times the world would probably be better without me. Later on, in my 20’s, in a drunken haze, I would take an overdose of sleeping pills, but by some miracle, I woke up.
personal journeys of family members
Sharon
He would have a few dry weeks and then drink again, and it just became a vicious circle. I did not speak to my dad very often and when I did it would be an argument. I spent most of my adult life resentful and embarrassed that my dad was an alcoholic.
Rajinder
Visits to relatives houses usually meant the men would be drinking from the afternoon into the early hours; the drinkers would give no regard to the women or children.
Amerdeep
Life is precious, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I owe it to myself to be happy. I deserve to be happy despite the heartache with my sister. I can still be happy in my own life, and that is not selfish. Happiness is a gift because life is a gift.